June 15th, 2016
"Failure is very important. It introduces you to ideas that you never want to return to." - anonymous
If you've ever failed at anything you're likely shaking your head at the truth stated within the quote above. What do you do when you continue to fail? Try, try and try again? But aren't we suppose to do things that we're inherently good that?
I believe the answer to those two questions depend on how badly you want to succeed at the task you are failing at. Within these past few weeks, I've recently discovered that determination lives strong inside me. This characteristic came in to my intuition like a lightening strike after I had failed several standardized tests necessary for progression into the final year of graduate school. At first the word determination seemed as a detriment. The following statement was ruminating in my mind, "The only reason I am doing this is because I am determined and can not accept failure. Is my determination distracting me from the message I am suppose to be receiving that says to walk away?"
While moving through several emotions, mainly disappointment and frustration, over a five day period of time, I began to think about past life events that I had either failed at or was not succeeding in due to my own high standards. In each of those situations, I uncovered that rather than trying again and again, I made the conscious decision to walk away. To trust in myself that I no longer needed what that experience was giving me and most importantly that I had gained what I needed from those experiences.
So What Now? Why is this Situation Different?
Determination is powerful. It provides you with the knowledge to let go and use your determination to find an alternative OR determination carries you on.
This situation was different for me because I couldn't let go. Although I was angry, disappointed in myself, and immersed in deep sadness, I could not let go. I want this and without a doubt, there was more knowledge to be acquired and more lessons to be learned. I had to do it my way.
Its easier to remind ourselves that many greats have failed time and time again - Oprah, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Walt Disney and Steven Spielberg to name a few. However, they are not me, you or us. We are all unique and must do it our way, failure and success.
Below are a several suggestions for moving through failure and deciding it its right to carry on or move on:
- Get it out! Express yourself, write down your feelings, talk to those close to you whose opinions matter to you
- Give yourself a few days before making any decisions - Allow yourself to process
- Separate from it - go have some fun, do things that enliven you and do not require you speak or think about your current failure
- Think about "what next" - If you decide to move through this failure, what is going to be required of you? If you decide to walk away, what is going to be required of you?
- Seek help - do you know others who have sucessfully moved through an event similiar to your failure? Talk to them. Learn from them.
- Allow space. Mental space. Our intuition speaks volumes louder than our fears and failures. What is your intuition telling you? Emotions propel feelings. Intuition ignites decision.
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Disclaimer: This information is intended for general reference only. It is not a replacement for professional health advice. The content in this post intentionally does not provide dosage information or possible interactions with prescription drugs or other medications. Please contact a certified health practitioner such as a physician of Oriental Medicine or Herbalist before considering use. To schedule an appointment with Malerie, visit the services page.